Hitting A Wall
Ever since I have been nominated as one of the world's top contemporary artists, I feel stifled . Everything I do now I look at with an overly critical eye and find faults overshadowing the beauty in the works. I look at all these other great artists with such respect. Sigh. I just have to get over this and think - the successful painting is when you do the best you can and express yourself truly. So if not by talent and skill, I win the viewer's heart for them knowing I did the best I could and somehow with what skill I have, I've captured the soul and emotions of the subject. Weeks have passed and everything I have not in this period I look at with dread and shamefulness. On some of them I was painting live with only two hours and the paintings have a rushed, incomplete look - I guess what do you expect... I have to force myself back into this and just take my time and do the best I can and not worry about the rest. Each day I say tomorrow I will begin again, then when the time comes I feel not ready yet and hold off. Instead of painting, I've been scouring the internet looking at beautiful landscape paintings. Hopefully, soon, I'll get over this wall before me. I'm thinking if I can get going again to do some new lady tree dancer paintings.